‘I wake up every day thinking is this me? Is this a dream? Thinking that I will wake up and it didn’t happen and I will go back to before. I tap and feel my body every day. I feel like I have been in a box locked up for years and now I am free and let out, like a new life, a new start. I am still in shock of it all and can’t believe how I feel. It’s like I am back.’
Laura, Yoga Teacher (Swan Blessing testimonial)
Swan Blessing by Skype: 1 hour $135
Swan Blessing and Tarot Reading : 1.5 hours $175
Swan Blessing is a gentle ceremony to open the pathways to receive vision again and to create conscious release of past beliefs, vows and sacred contracts that no longer fit our spirits as they are now. These vows can be passed through lineage, DNA and may have been activated through the collective unconscious. In our past many of us have experienced spiritual vocations as witches, herbalists, monks, nuns, priestesses, healers and warriors. In difficult times we may have lived hidden away to keep safe from persecution or given up individuality and personality in servitude to temples and religious orders. In this new era we are being invited to step forward to share our unique gifts in complete trust. Many of us have an a deep desire to to do this but are still feeling held back.
The vow of chastity – creating relationships difficulties and belief that we must choose either a vocation or a relationships, that we cannot have both.
The vow of obedience – causing a block to using your personal power in this life
The vow of silence – causing blocks to creative and individual expression as well as blocks to passing on sacred teachings in this life
The vow of poverty – creating a feeling of deep guilt in relation to creating financial wealth in this life
The vow of death before dishonour – relating to past lives as sacred warriors or soldiers and creates a block in being able to leave unhappy relationships or work that is deeply unfulfilling or dangerous to wellbeing
The healer’s oath – an oath that forbade healers to take payment for their services, or take proper payment for their work, creating energy of being so ‘of service’ that they were exhausted and found it hard to care for themselves as they cared for others.
It has touched our hearts deeply to hold space for the opening and return of ancestral medicine. Below are some of the medicine stories that have been sent in to us by those who have received Swan Blessing. Thank you to everyone who has shared the story of their medicine and the journey taken to reclaim it.
Swan Blessing Stories
Far From Home – Morgan Weistling
Here is Robyn’s sharing of her Swan Blessing past life story of the Vow to Hide the Healer – to not let anyone know who she truly was. This fear of persecution is one of the strongest ties that binds us and stop us from stepping into spiritual and healing work again in the present. I was very touched by Robyn’s courage to face this fear and was thrilled to see her rapid transformation after she released her spirit from this heavy vow. I hope that in the telling of Robyn’s own story, it helps those who are also feeling this same fear to realise that this vow is ancient and does not belong with your spirit in this time of change and rise of the Sacred Feminine. I hope it helps you to feel that you are not alone and that you can come out of the shadows and into community with your sisters and brothers again.
Thank you Robyn and we are so happy to see the unveiling of your Wise Medicine here in this world again.
As I looked into the well I became a seven year old girl with long sandy brown hair in plats. All around was forest. Beautiful majestic trees that were as high as the sky. I was met by a lady, but could only see her curly, dark auburn red hair. She was wearing an emerald green cloak made of raw silk. It was stunning and shiny. I couldn’t see her face through the shadow of the hood. I felt we were mother and child. She beckoned me to follow her and seemed very excited to show me something. We were skipping and running with such excitement and freedom through the forest.
We came to a clearing in the trees where there were some people in a circle surrounding a fire. They were pagans, all holding hands chanting blessings to the earth. I could see their shapes in white with no defining marks. The only defining vision was a giant rabbit joined in amongst the people, my mother and myself. We joined the circle and began to become one with earth and all the people. We prayed for healing of the world, for peace, for the sick, for all in need. We were healers, shamans and in an age where this belief could have you branded and killed as a witch.
Suddenly there were screams and men attacking us with sticks, breaking up the circle and beating anyone they could catch. As we fled into the forest they grabbed my mother. They pulled us apart, our arms stretched out for one last chance of touch. I watched as my mother was carried away screaming and kicking holding her arms out to me. I was crying out for her with no hope. I had to hide until it was safe to emerge. As I looked up, a hand reached out for me. It was a man who had come to help. He took me to a secret place where we were allowed to be free and safe. We all lived together in harmony with nature and continued to heal. They taught me the ways of nature and how to use the powers that I possessed.
I grew into a tall, stunning looking woman that walked tall and proud hiding my deep secrets. I was a healer with such powers that I could heal with a single smile or glance. I had my secret kept deep within, not sharing through fear of being killed. I healed from afar. I was living in a Scandinavian town on the edge of the forest. Nobody knew who I was, but I had respect.
When it was time to see my binding I felt a huge rope coil around my entire body much like a snake would strangle their prey. I was bound with this rope with a giant knot in my mouth. The knot represented how I swore to never discuss my secret within. Never to let anyone know I am a healer. Then my mother was reunited with me to show me I was safe. As she put out her arms for me, a feeling of love and peace shot through my entire body. Then my ropes were cut and they fell to the ground. The young girl was free to talk her truth. No more silence, no more fear, I too am free.
After my blessing the Swan circled above with the sun behind her. She came low enough to pick me up and carry me away. I embraced her with gratitude for allowing me to take this journey. I felt safe with her as she flew through the perfect sky, then spiraled down and around to land in the dam paddock of my home. A home I can now appreciate and feel settled and safe in from this day forward.
What an amazing experience. The most interesting guided meditation I have ever done. The emotion that was experienced was so intense inside my heart, but was finally put at peace through this magical healing. Having picked some cards Julia described exactly where I was in my heart. I was feeling trapped with my strong spiritual belief having to remain a secret, through fear of being persecuted, criticized and judged. At the end of the day, my choice to be who I am truly within my heart was being ignored, leaving me untrue to myself and my life as who I am today.
I believe more and more in past lives and at times have had some amazing things happen to convince me even more again. I have always had a yearning to be in India. It was a place where one of my many spiritual steps were taken and where I have always felt at home and allowed to embrace spirituality. I have always felt a strong connection to India through family history, past and present, but also in the heart. In India, people show you respect for your strong belief. Monks, nuns and Holy men are looked up to and never persecuted. My past lives as a holy being were many and I was loved and respected for who I was. This was making it hard to settle in my own home, a paradise surrounded by nature. A place that people come to enjoy and relax. But for me, no, India felt like home. For a while now I had the feeling that my beliefs and abilities should be kept secret, as judgements and criticisms I have had to face from opening my heart to people have felt so unfair. I am not cuckoo or going to hell, I am an amazing being with a lot to share. Life is good!
So a couple of days pass. I start to see visions of my past again. This time, I recognize my mother. She isn’t my maternal mother from this life as I originally thought, she is Judy, healer I bump into on occasion. In my Scandinavian life, Judy is my mother. Judy is also the healer that helped me on a few occasions. She turns up at the right time. A lovely lady I have always felt like I should get to know better, but has never had the chance. First thing the next morning After this visit to Melbourne my family all went to our chiropractor for our regular adjustment. We hadnt seen a single soul in town before entering the clinic. Guess who were the patients before us, Judy and her husband Jack. I hadn’t seen them for over 18 months and now I feel its time to get to know them better. I think I have a new teacher.
Thank you Julia and Tony for helping me find peace. Look forward to another magical experience with you both. Robyn, 2013
Swan Blessing Story – Retrieval of the Dreamer
This morning I received a most treasured gift – a poem written by artist, Lucy Pierce after her experience journeying with the Swan Blessing at Seven Sisters Festival. I too felt the presence of Horse at the festival and I was so glad to see that this totem of the Spirit had also come to assist Lucy as she journeyed back to Retrieve the Dreamer. Since Seven Sisters Lucy has visited me in the forest to take a personal journey with the Swan again and I am very excited to see the art that births from Lucy and her Dreamer in the coming months ahead.
In past lifetimes, many of us have bound our wisdom of sacred art and her symbols. These esoteric teachings are our birthright and in this lifetime we are free to share them with fearless love again. I am always honoured to assist artists and musicians to clear past life contracts binding free self-expression. It is often the voice of the artist that sings to the world from the crest of the Wave of Change, they are the Seers of the future.
You can see the full beauty of Lucy’s creations here and purchase your very own prints and sculptures at her Etsy store. Thank you Lucy for sharing this potent poem – your vision, your purpose, your authority, your love… I could hear the quickening like a drumbeat of horsehoof on the earth as I read it.
She Meets Herself
Like an unsung song I have always known,
I have experienced myself to be riddled
with incomplete spaces
and unlived places within.
As though essential clues were still buried,
deep inside the body,
indecipherable codes and locks and holds,
camouflaged and obscure,
deflecting light and attention and love.
And now like an awakened crusade,
I have mounted my stead and bare-breasted I ride,
powerful and fierce and exquisitely soft inside,
into the darkness of my history,
back through the gateways
of my deaths and my births,
eyes piercing the shadows,
anchored within the womb,
my vigilant sentry,
ancient seer, awakened.
The rhythmic stride of my mount unrelenting,
senses strained to their full,
I am retrieving myself piece by piece,
unbinding the vows of my past,
reclaiming the power held captive
beyond the reach of my memory.
I am calling her home to me
She who carries her medicine,
She who hungers to be seen,
She who knows the heart-seed of her purpose,
the unfolding mystery of being home
in the throne-room of her soul.
From between the plump, sticky folds of my motherhood,
my Huntress awakens,
sleek and honed
and dark as the night.
She is retrieving the Dreamer
to the heart of life,
searching for She who sees the vision
and holds within her,
clear and true and easefull
the capacity to respond.
The heavy compass of authority
swinging from the outer to within.
It is time and there is no other path
but this focused reclamation of myself ,
of my vision, my purpose,
my dream, my response,
Swan Blessing Story – Magic Unbound
Tonight I share a Swan Blessing Story written by Kelly about how we can receive the gift of our own Ancestral Wisdom when we clear past life vows and promises. When Tony and I first met Kelly, an artist and sculptor, we were quickly aware that we were in the presence of someone who had walked a spiritual path in many lifetimes. After spending time with Kelly in circle and shamanic workshops I could feel her connection to ancient Mystery Schools and a deep affinity with the natural world. But as Kelly would strengthen her meditation practice and open energy centres, I sensed that there was always a threshold to deepening that Kelly held herself back from crossing and there were times when she would shut her power down. After reading Kelly’s Swan Story you will completely understand how it is often the promises we make to ourselves that can be the most binding.
We were so pleased to see Kelly come forward to receive The Swan Blessing and very touched to discover that she wanted to share her beautiful story. A very important element of The Swan Blessing that Tony and I are only just understanding fully, is that one of the healings offered through the ceremony is an opening of self-expression. When the Swan Story is written for yourself, you experience another level of healing that is profound. I should not be surprised with the totemic energy of the Wild Swan and her link to Brigid, goddess of inspired speech, poetry and wisdom.
She came to me my familiar stranger and shared with me her emotions and memories. Her feelings reflected my own. The heavy ones that had lived so deeply within me for as long I could remember. I had taken them to be mine. I had taken them to be of this life, but they where not. They were the blonde haired girl’s all along, and she was I. But that life has gone. She had lost her freedom to be herself when all her love was taken from her. This blonde haired girl had lived on the land amongst the natural people. These folk lived in small homes with lavish gardens and roaming wild life. Most of her days were spent running with the deer.
When I first encountered her she was outside with the women from the house chanting and sharing stories. I was drawn to her immediately. The youngest of the group, no more thirteen years. The wide-eyed, golden haired girl soaking up the lesson being offered by the wise women – with an awe of excitement. This place was special, the Faerie played there. Together they worshipped the land healing plant, animal, and human alike. People travelled far to see the natural people and be healed from both mental and physical ailments. No payment was exchanged. The risk of travel was enough and to arrive by the cover of night was they only request of the healers.
One night in a blink of an eye the blonde haired girl’s life was turned to ash. By the men in black who travel the countryside, defusing the light in people’s hearts. On this night only one survived. The young girl was taken by the men and placed in a cold blue-stoned cell and robed in black. They tried to force her to use her abilities to heal their wounded men. Though she refused with conviction. As she laid in the darkness she bound her light and shielded her love, she would not share the magic of the land with those who were only out to destroy it.
Her magic was strong and her internal binding became physical. She herself was bound in rope by the men in black and left in the darkness – left to fade. Her sadness was deep, her conviction was strong and her intentions where true and clear. I could feel it. I had felt it before. I’d felt the bound girl inside, often a dull aching I could not quite place. While connecting to this feeling I was transported to my sacred space. The space that I enter upon meditation and out of the water she emerged, that I of the past. She was now free I had become the one bound. Our eyes met, two of the same, she untied me from the rope she had once been bound in, and then she smiled.
And with that smile she whispered –
‘Thank you for coming back for me., now we are both free and in your world you don’t have to hide, you can dance under the moonlight without fear, you can use your magic, release our light and show others the way to theirs. Always remember the Faerie as they are still with you’.
Bless it be.
Thank you Julia and Tony, I have experienced so much healing from releasing this vow. I also feel that part of my soul experience has now become open to me within this life. You have both shared a truly amazing gift, the gift of remembering who we are and all we can be.
Emily’s Swan Story – Awakening the Black Serpent
At the New Moon Eclipse on Friday I received the treasured gift of Emily’s Swan Blessing story. It is a story that led her to create the beautiful image and message you see below her story. Emily’s Swan Story is one of great darkness and beauty and that is the gift of Swan – that she can take you safely into what feels like the darkest cave of memory to discover that this place, when named and reclaimed, is filled with gold. I believe the Dark Mother holds our treasures, gifts and wise medicine for us in the lifetimes where we feel we have had to bind it or forget it until we feel strong enough to return and reclaim our birthright gifts again.
Bright love to you Emily for your beautiful courage to awaken the Black Serpent of your Wise Medicine and for sharing your story. For those who resonate with Emily’s story I hope that in the reading, comes great unbinding and release.
It’s taken me a full cycle to begin to discover the power that was unbound by your swan blessings at the Seven Sisters Festival (I came to both the Friday afternoon and Sunday morning). I am so grateful to you for the gifts you shared and what has been awakened in me.
I was quite frightened and disturbed by my past self and by my animal guide. She was angry and vengeful…her black eyes spitting vicious spite at me. She looked proud and Roman…somewhere dusty and crowded. She had cut out her own tongue to bind her magic and power, to punish and prevent herself from practicing evil. I felt this as barbed wire around my throat and heart.
The first unbinding came from my animal guide…it emerged from the darkness as a huge black serpent, terrifyingly beautiful and powerful, with glowing red eyes and glistening black scales. I shook with fear as it rushed towards me, towards the barbed wire. It wound its strong body around my legs, up around my hips and chest and somehow just melted the barbed wire away.
The second unbinding came from the crone…she handed me a black stone knife and I knew it was the same knife She had used to cut out her tongue. I thrust it into the pool, shattering its surface into light. WE ARE FREE. Her power is my power. My healing light is her healing light. I am free to choose to speak the truth, to never speak evil. It is my choice and my power to wield.
The black serpent was there to guide me, to travel with me on my journey. It sinuously slid away and I ran after it, rushed through the darkness. We easily merged into one and travelled through the dark, unafraid. We are power, energy, in direct connection with the earth. We wrap the ones we love with our whole body and strength, entwined with love, hearts beating together in the darkness. We shed many skins. We never act in anger, spite or evil. We are protective. We are guardians of light and truth.
This freedom and power has awakened many of my old dreams and childhood memories and activated the way to move forward and create new dreams, new ways of working and healing people’s bodies and souls – not just with my hands (as an osteopath) but with colour, collage, art and movement. Using my heart and my voice that have both been silent for too long!
I hope to visit you in the forest soon, to continue unbinding my power and activating my soul’s purpose. To find more love and less fear. To let my heart crack open. I have attached a card I made after the Swan Blessings. I only just found its voice today. EMILY
Card: Awakening the Black Serpent created by Emily after Swan Blessing
The Black Serpent
I am one who is powerful, strong, terrifying. I have been hidden in you for a long time. I am waking up inside you.
I give you your power. Don’t be afraid. Destructive energy comes hand in hand with creative energy. You need me to create/birth the New.
I want you to stand in your own power, to be strong and unafraid, to speak up for yourself, to speak your truth.
Remember that you can shed your skin like a snake. There are infinite layers and ways of being. No need to feel stuck. Call on me to help shed your skin, to be more your True Self.
Another beautiful Swan Blessing story to share with you today from our book in creation: ‘Releasing the Ties That Bind’. Thank you Bec for your sharing as I read it, I felt the healing for us all again. With your telling you are helping so many who are feeling the bindings and very real fear of persecution of the Wise Woman again in our time. This Swan journey is so amazingly empowering, I honour you sister and the return of your great gifts in fearless love.
I was in a small cottage in the woods, surrounded by small children , an elderly lady was crying as I kissed them goodbye. I knew they were coming for me. I knew I was a wise woman and they feared me. I actually felt at peace. I told the elderly woman it would be alright. I was quite young with beautiful long hair.
My next thought was to get away from cottage as I could see the torches in the distance. I started running through the woods. They caught me about 500 meters from my cottage. My thought then was are my family are safe as I looked back towards the cottage? They had me on my knees with my head pulled back by my hair. I was surrounded by men and could feel the fear in their heart. I was taken under the cover of darkness. It was a lynch mob. A powerful man with the authority was behind the scenes. Orchestrating the outcome. I felt he was scared of my inner power.
The very next thing I saw was a vision of her standing on a pyre. It quite surreal as I stepped out as myself from the future to see my past self on the pyre. I could see a sea of what looked like Pilgrim hats, and a town square. She was searching frantically for someone or something in the faces before her; she knew this was going to happen. There was no hatred in her body, only sadness and compassion, for the people doing this to her. I watched as the tears streamed down my face. I stepped forward and her eyes locked onto to mine. She smiled at me and said with her eyes: ah good you are here! I have been waiting. My soul felt like it exploded in to a million pieces, it was such a deep and profound connection. Her words to me were: You are free, Have no fear. They cannot come for you in this lifetime. Your family are safe. Be true to your soul and path. With that she closed her eyes and tilted her head skywards. And whispered ‘I am ready” to the Heavens. As they lit the pyre. I saw a bright white light come down from above. She was enfolded by light and I could see two beings beside her. The flames had only reached her feet. But she was already free.
Julia and Tony I thank you for releasing my fear/binding, in this life as a healer/witch/ wise woman. I hadn’t realised that this fear of judgement and persecution had been holding me back. Also my intense dislike of authority makes sense. My past self had no fear; No anger, she accepted it, in perilous times of who she was. Her message to me was the gift of Freedom, acceptance and walking the path of self truth. No more Hiding.
With Love, Bec 2012
I urge you all to experience the potent and healing medicine of Bec Rainbowwalker. For years Bec worked as a nurse and in palliative care had many experiences of the divine crossing over of the soul. I am so happy to say that she is honouring her wise gifts and is now offering incredible sessions of energetic and intuitive healing here in Melbourne. She offers such beauty and grace to all especially those recovering from grief and loss after death as she is a beautiful ‘midwife of the soul’ and has such a deep understanding of the journey of the soul from this life to the next. I have had the personal experience of Bec’s healing and they are deeply transformative. Love your way, Sister www.rainbowalker.com
Thank you Talulah for sharing your Swan Blessing story here – a beautiful remembering and releasing of the mystic, the warrior, the chosen one who took a Vow of Silence so that the past would not be repeated. Oceans of love to you Talulah for the return of your beautiful voice and for a clear pathway to be The Chosen One again in this time of fearless love.
“When I peered into the water to see who was looking back at me, there were two faces staring up, two men. One was an ancient man, so old and thin his bones poked through his skin. The other was a young man, native American, he was very beautiful and so, so sad. I went with the old man first. We were walking through an ancient village, rough dwellings made of stone and cave like shelters. No one looked at him, he was an outcast. I walked with him, as him, I felt his incredible knowledge, and I felt how he received it, he was a channel for universal wisdom, and no one would hear him, ever.We went back to his childhood, he was around 13 years old. The son of the village leader, he was the next in line, the promised one.
His father was a cruel leader, his mother was beaten and tortured, he knew it was wrong and promised he would never be like his father. He spoke out against his father and his ways, speaking the wisdom he received. He was rejected by his father, his family and the whole community followed, he became the outcast, wandering alone.We went to the water and Brigid gave me a wand to cut through the thick smoke that bound me in this promise. I saw him released and floating free, and I felt that he had always had peace in his heart with the vow he made, he knew it was right, the whisperings of the universe had reminded him of this through his long and lonely life.
Back at the water the young man waited for me. We went to his home, he was the leader of the tribe, a warrior that had a deep connection to spirit, he listened to his guides and heard what he needed to do and spoke this to his people. There was an ongoing battle with another tribe and he had a plan in how to triumph over the enemy. He spoke this to his brothers and they left to fight together.He was shocked and horrified when his brothers turned against him and attacked him, shooting arrows, not to kill him, but maim him terribly. He could not fight anymore, he could not lead anymore, he was useless and crippled. He vowed to never speak again. I saw him live a very sad, lonely life, helpless and defeated. We returned to Brigid, and this time she handed me a mallet to smash my way out of this stone vow I was imprisoned in. He floated up and away, released from pain and suffering.
I cried with relief to see him set free. These vows were so ancient, so many lifetimes ago, yet so familiar to me. I felt those vows within me even, though those lives were so alien and surprising. I have lived by these vows to some extent my whole life, in place I know to protect me from these things ever happening again. But now, with these promises lifted, I am free to trust my knowing, the intuition I have always heard, the messages I receive, and speak of them freely. To live by my new vow… I will be beauty and give of this beauty.”
Talulah, Sydney 2012.
Here is a link to the wild and beautiful medicine of Talulah Gough who is a Doula, Shamanic Midwife, Medicine Drum-Maker and oh so much more. When I met Talulah I felt how much we were kin. Dear sister, an ocean of blessings on your magical and transformative work. : www.makingsacred.com
Ruth St. Denis 1910
Today I share a song of a Swan Blessing story by Lucille who reflects on the journey of the Enchantress Witch. In the rise of the Divine Feminine we are hearing our bodies call and sing again. The Swan invites you to know your own true beauty, to live on this incredible earth deeply, to FEEL again. This is Lucille’s story, and I honour her for sharing it with us all may it assist you on your own journey to release past lifetimes of shame, judgement and fear. Sister Swan you are Beauty!
My soul has memories. They have grown over the years. Burnings, vivid recall. Knowings of persecution, fear, judgement and hate. Triggered by images in movies, words of others, people and their looks of scorn. The word Bitch and the word Witch, only one letter separates them. I have oscillated between empowerment, true intuition and denial, depression and self loathing. Why am I this way? Why can I feel what you feel, even when I don’t want to? Why can I sense what you are thinking, even when I don’t care to?
My Magic is movement, the beauty of my body. The form and the soft caress of my sway. I entice, inspire and engage the senses. I hypnotise you with my hips. My way is truly feminine, my undulations without shame. We dance, we love and we birth, all from the centre of our hips, the seat of our power, the lips of love. The gateway of desire, passion, life and power.
Once a blessing, often a curse. They way of the enchantress Witch has been a hard way, our power when suppressed and denied, turns dark. It turns ugly and seeps out, from under the door like an angry thick fog. Black magic, Sorcery. Hate is powerful, my emotions have caused great pain, unto others but most of all unto myself.
The way of love and light is easy. The way out of the murk, the quick sand that threatens to eat you up is swift and painless. Those who judge me I now hold a mirror to, those who hate me, I now feel compassion for. Those who don’t want to know what I truly live for, can’t see my passion, desire and need for Magic, I let them go. Those that come to me for healing, that feel called to be released from the shame of their bodies, from deep sensual wounds that have been carried for generations, I say come. Let me hold you, let me heal you, let me see you for the beauty and goodness that you truly are. Divine, Wonderous, Damp and Sexy. Woman.
Trust your body! You’ll know when its right, because your Pussy will tinkle with delight. She will bubble up when the flow is perfect, when you intuition says fly. Use her wisdom everyday, in everyway.
Let’s take our power back, let’s turn the words around.
Now I say,
I’m Bitchin, when I’m Witchin.
The Swan Blessing. What can I say? It was when I came home.
Thank you Lucille, beautiful woman! You can invite the enchantress into your own life through Lucille’s classes ‘Awaken Serpent’, enjoy the many riches she has to offer through her website: www.itsladylucille.com.
Sir Galahad and the Pale Nun, Julia Margaret Cameron 1875
There is a sweet synchronicity between the 2 Swan Blessing stories that were gifted back to us today – it is the story of the return of the shameless feminine, the unveiled beauty, the beautiful wild girl. Here is the incredible Swan Blessing story of Kylie whose free-spirited nature was bound by vows of Chastity and Silence after being forced to take vows as a nun. For Kylie the greatest binding of all was her spirit’s agreement to be resigned to this life, to not expect anything more. As a nun, she learnt to develop a deep and rich inner world to deal with her circumstances. In releasing herself from her vows, Kylie learnt that this rich inner world could also be her experience of the outer world too.
Undergoing the Swan Blessing was both a simple and natural thing to do. I had had an immensely emotional week, I worried whether I really wanted to “go there”, to have to delve into my issues and problems. To be honest I had no idea what I was walking into. I had already booked this time with Julia and Tony and didn’t want to cancel, I trusted the simplest yet sometimes the most challenging belief I have, which is to believe everything is happening as it should. I have also worked with Tony and Julia for years and have always found their energy to be soothing, and working with them has only led me to feelings of calm and healing.
I entered the room, I stepped into a circle, where Tony smudged me with a sage stick, wafting its fragrance around me, removing the energies of my hectic week from me. He then left the room, working from a distance to hold the sacred space that we were to work within but leaving Julia and I to work together. There is no major moment or dramatic entry into my past life, there is simply a direction to look and see. It’s like watching a movie, it’s so simple. Julia guided me to look into the Well and take me to the person I once was, for me to meet the person who once made a vow so strong and so sacred that it was still driving me to this very day.
She was young and beautiful and she knew the power of her looks, a graceful maiden growing up in London from a relatively well to do family. She was always a loner, always dreaming by the docks, her favourite place to be. She loved to watch the ships come in, see the men and dream of the places they would go and admire their swarthy looks from afar. What were they speaking of, their voices carrying on the wind with the dialects and words of foreign places. She could never get too close though, her position demanded distance, as it seemed to demand distance for her from most of the world around her. Her virtue was her most valuable asset and the architecture of her life was such that it would not be compromised.
As we entered the meditation and I approached the Well, before I had met her, before I was taken to the docks of her youth, I was guided by a beautiful maiden of Avalon. She had taken me to the well and Avalon was where i felt my journey was to be. As I was guided to turn my eyes and look to the well, I excitedly anticipated to see myself as a beautiful maiden of Avalon, amongst my sisters, in no way was i prepared for who I saw myself to be. A nun, a very old nun with rheumy blue eyes, eyes that spoke whilst lips did not move. She looked at me and spoke a thousand words through her eyes but never once moved her lips. She was silent, forever silent, she had vowed silence and had lived it so long she no longer knew any different.
She took me through the streets of an old Medieval English town to a small church at the end of a street in an area of much poverty, grime and sickness. She showed me her church and the Friar who worked with her, her eyes told me she had found acceptance of her life, that she regarded both herself and her life as unremarkable, as no one to be known or remembered, and probably no one who would be remembered, simply a servant of the church with a vow of silence. As I connected to her I felt so little emotionally, I felt a shell of a person who was neither happy nor sad but merely existing. Her mind was quiet, there was nothing left to say to herself after all this time.
As we delved deeper and I tried to find a connection in her, a fire, a passion, we journeyed to the day she made her vows. She knew she was still so beautiful in her nun’s gowns, she stood tall and proud, her rosary beads hanging around her slim waist and still knew of her power. She knew why she was here today and she owned the actions that had made her family send her here. She felt no regret, the docks had called and she had answered, and whilst she chose not to share with me the details of her encounter there, still her own personal haven, her own sacred memory, it was enough to ensure she be banished from her family to serve out her days in the church undergoing a vow of silence that was to last her a lifetime. Not only was she to serve here for her shameful actions she was to be silenced so she could never shame her family with the true reasons for her vocation, with her true self. She simply held that silence with a knowing look, she had experienced a taste of freedom that she knew her life would never have afforded her, and she would pay the price for the rest of her life.
We looked at each other in the mirror, my blue eyes matching hers, this time I looked at her with love and together we tenderly removed the stiches from her mouth. I sent her all the love I had, let her know she was someone, she was so remarkable and her life had made a difference. She granted me the gift of her incredible strength and her still mind, something I have never been able to achieve and something i needed so badly at this time in my life. My own mind had been screaming at me, tormenting me on things I had to deal with, she helped me to move through. Her life of silence, her life of servitude and anonymity just set me free or did i just set her free with my gifts of love, acceptance and acknowledgement of her greatness and incredible strength, for that moment we became one and we were both free.
As now, weeks later I now revisit this moment of unity, it is like we both spiralled to become one person. She craved freedom and found it in her mind, she was a dreamer and so too am I. She lived her glory in her mind, she vowed to keep her strength and her uniqueness to herself, she had no other frame of reference to live by, there was no other choice she knew of and I realised I had been living the same. What I have realised is, I don’t need to.
I have choices, choices she could not even imagine yet have still had been living bound to my own mind, still living as if I had no choice. For all my life I have taken my gifts and tried to bury them from view where I can live safely with them and not challenge the status quo of my world and the people in it. The fear I experience at times to bring myself forth are just irrational, a real physical sinking in the pit of the stomach and total inability to push myself to the next level on so many things, jack of all trades master of none. Never to really excel, better to be amongst the crowd. The gift of the Swan Blessing to me has been the realignment of myself to this very day. To take the gifts I have and remove the binds that have held me back. I always felt like i had reached some wall in myself that made no sense and now i realise that it didn’t make sense because it was built in another time and I could not put the pieces together, now it all just makes sense.
Kylie, DJ, 2012
Kylie is a beloved sister and soul friend and has been an illuminating presence in our circles for many years. Mystic, healer, storyteller, Kylie heals through the sound waves. To be in her company is to be brought back to pure joy. As ‘DJ Ma Bower’ Kylie is spreading that joy and deep bliss to all the beautiful dancers and music lovers. Healers take many forms and the healing that takes place through sound is profound. She will be playing at some beautiful festivals this summer so when you hear the call to the temple from ‘Ma Bower’, when you can no longer resist the urge to dance on the earth again…let yourself return. We already thought Kylie was out of this world, we can’t wait to hear what is unleashed after her Swan Blessing!
Swan Blessing Story – The Vow to Hide Her Wisdom
Here is Jane’s memory of her journey with the Swan.
I saw her, old, long scraggly hair, wrapped in tanned animal hide for protection, by the river, in the forest, alone, very alone, sad, resigned, quiet. She’d been banished from the village, or maybe she’d run away and been hiding, either way it was because she’d been found out or would have been and that meant she’d had to leave or die.
I saw her, young, she was writing furiously, long feather quill, hiding somewhere in a corner of the attic of the dwelling, in the dark, a lone taper burning. She was scared, fearful of being seen, yet she wrote and she wrote, pausing only to hear more to write.The words were coming to her from others, words she couldn’t see who spoke, yet the words came and she wrote them.The Grandmother who lived in her hut in the forest had told her that the voices and their words that she heard were important and that she must write them down and give them to her. She taught her to write and read and told her to keep it a secret, not to tell anyone and to keep on doing it.On the Grandmother’s death bed, she made her promise, make a vow, to never let anyone else know about the words she heard and to not let anyone see her writing, otherwise she would be killed. She wrote and wrote and the words soothed her soul. She shared them with her mother and her sisters because the words spoke of a different way, a way where they would be honoured and respected, it was so different to how it was for them…. The vow she made to the Grandmother kept her scared, scared of being seen, scared of being found out and scared of what would happen should she be discovered and the vow kept the words secret, but the words wanted to be shared and read…..
The vow she made stayed with her until another lifetime when she went to the Blacksmith’s cottage and met a Witch who flew with Swan. The Witch helped her find a way to cut away the web that was the vow, that had stuck to her, that was stuck in and around and all over her. And Black Panther came then, to be with her, to protect her and guard her. She was safe now, the vow was released and the words could come freely and be shared.
Jane Hardwick Collings, Creator of the School of Shamanic Midwifery, Sydney 2012
Sylvia Ji – Shapeshifters
On this Full Moon morning we share with you Kristan’s Swan Blessing Story of the Outcast. In her past life, Kristan belonged to a tribe that could not accept the powerful medicine that she carried. In her tribe this medicine was seen as taboo for woman to hold. She was asked to obey or to leave. She chose to say NO to the tribe so that she could say YES to her spirit. Many of us have experienced similar stories in past lives and in our present lives. We have felt that to truly be ourselves, we must journey alone. Or we have put up with behaviour that hurts us just to stay a part of the tribe whether that tribe is family, society, peers. In this time of the rise of the Divine Feminine we are being called out of the shadows to embrace all of our natural gifts and to release the fear of being rejected and cast out by those who do not understand or accept us. Saying NO when it is right for us is a practice of honouring ourselves. When we release the belief that there was ever anything ‘wrong’ with us we remember that we are all creatures of the earth – as individual as every animal and plant and an integral part in the wheel of life.
Looking into the waters of the crystal ball of consciousness, I stared and I waited and I imagined I would not see anything. And I saw nothing for what felt like such a long, long time, I was beginning to feel I would not see, that my mind was too strong to allow my soul to show me what I needed and wanted to see
I stayed with prayer, asking and pleading at one moment to see, please let me see . . . and then the mists began to clear and I could see a clearing in the mountains, green pine all around, the smell of freshness and soil, and a teepee
And horses, many horses And then I saw HER, myself in another time By the teepee, the wild life of the mountains surrounding HER Ah, she was alone, living an isolated life, no tribe, a sadness surrounded herI could also sense an understanding, acceptance of her situation as the best possible outcome for her at that time and place We saw each other, she smiledI could see her deer skin clothing, her turquoise choker with red beads HER long, long braids of dark black hair I could feel HER and I felt a relief that we had met, that the veils had parted and that we could meet I began to track why she was alone in the woods, her only communication with the forest life; the birds, woodland creatures, trees, the natural world who heard her and loved her
A new vision appeared
I found myself within a tribe of teepees A fire A Father, a Chief at the door of his teepeeAnd a Mother and more children (my siblings) sitting at the door of her teepee I stood by my Father, the Chief as he asked me again if I would do what was expected of me
and again, the 12 year old HER (me) said NO
I would NOT
I was banished from my tribe
For being who I was For speaking who I was For saying NO to what was not true for me I caught the eye of my mother and she caught mine sadness but understanding i saw there
and in my father too, not as cheif, but as my father a sadness and again an understanding
And away SHE went, alone, to live a life of isolation, to be herself
Again, I find myself back at HER teepee This time we connect, we stand in a pool of water, a water fall, falling behind us The vines from below come up, writhing and cover her, strangle her, snake like she is bound I connect with HER, I cut with my teeth the binding reedy vines I free HER She smiles at me, she becomes as of light and as a shooting star Returns
The wounding: I will be rejected, cast out, banished from my tribe if I am myself, authentic and truth speaking, if I say NO to what does not feel right I release this binding, this wounding as I bite and free the vines of that lifetime
The blessing: authentic, true and free, I express myself fully, I am my actualized self, accepted, loved and cherished by my tribe, now and for eternity
Thank you Kristan Read, for sharing your beauty, strength and truth. Kristan is a Shamanic Midwife, Teacher and crafting creatrix extraordinaire! You can experience Kristan’s inspiring medicine for yourself through her work at www.atmypractice.comand www.thecrafthive.com