Today at this full moon lunar eclipse, I share Sharon's Swan Blessing ancestral medicine story of being the 'listener' in her tribe. In our circles and communities so many different skills are needed and the gentle and compassionate ones, the listeners, can teach so much about hearing each other and listening to the earth. Sharon also told me how she was planning to move away, to begin a whole new time in her life but found it very hard to leave her son to follow her heart even though he was an adult and happy in his life - something held her back.
"I never saw myself as a healer. I felt I had no special gifts. My Swan Blessing past life session showed me that it does not need to be complicated and I do not need to judge my gifts. That sometimes the most simple things like listening, understanding and compassion, can be the most powerful healing of all."
"I knew today would be a very special day for me. I did not know how … I just knew. Though I was still unsure if I was capable of receiving the gifts of balance and connection I wished for. I mean, I had only journeyed once before and visualisation is not one of my strengths. I had nothing to fear or doubt, as Julia guided me every step of the way with her beautiful, calming voice … all the while wrapped in the beautiful wings of Swan.
Still unsure if I would be able to journey to find answers or vows from my past, I closed my eyes as Julia guided me into a beautiful forest … the forest of my heart. I felt so safe and loved. I was guided to a beautiful waterfall, behind of which was a large calm pool. There was a face slowly coming to the surface. She was a beautiful elder in her late 60’s with flowing grey hair and ice blue eyes, which looked straight into mine and through to my heart. This was me!
I saw her in her homeland. The land was flat for miles around, with many mountains in the distance, and she was sitting near a river. She was talking to the river, asking it to take away that which she no longer needed. She sat there for a long while … they understood each other, the river and her. She was well loved by her tribe and others came to her often for guidance and healing. She would hold both their hands and listen to their fears, problems and concerns. She took their fears and replaced them with her gentle, loving energy. She then went down to the river, to let everything go, so that they and she would be at peace once more. This was healing at its most simple … but also most powerful.
Julia took me back further, to where this beautiful woman (me) was a child and walked me through different stages of her life until she went back to spirit. She was a happy little girl, who spent many hours with her loving grandmother, who passed on her unconditional love and wisdom. Her grandmother made her a little doll, which she took everywhere with her. As she grew, her girlfriends used to make fun of her for still taking her doll with her everywhere. It didn’t matter though, because her doll held her medicine and they would never be apart. She became the mother of a beautiful baby boy. Their bond was so strong and she felt like her heart would burst with love for him. He grew into a wonderful young man and she was asked by the Chief of the tribe to make a vow/decision. A decision to let her son go. To let him go and fight for their tribe. Her faith was strong and she agreed. Her beloved son was killed, defending one of his friends during the fighting. She never saw him alive again. She became withdrawn and went to live in a cave, away from the tribe and the many memories there. Her heart was broken. She still had her doll, but it was in the corner of the cave … it no longer was by her side. One day she took her doll to the river and let it go. As she watched the river take it away, she felt totally lost. Her life had no purpose and she returned to the cave for many years. She did move back to the tribe, using the wisdom from her pain and grief to assist others. Once again she held both their hands and spoke gently to their heart, while looking into their eyes. While surrounded by her tribe, she passed to the spirit world … still with a broken heart and the guilt that caused it.
Julia took me back to the pool, where I held this beautiful grey haired woman with the broken heart. The one who looked at me with such love and such sadness. I held her so tight and felt the grief that consumed her. I told her that she could not have prevented her son’s death, that it was his journey and his alone. That her faith and her medicine was not the cause of his death. That I would take away her sadness, her guilt and her grief … that she was free. Her sadness, guilt and grief wrapped itself around my chest in the shape of barbed wire. But I was strong … I knew that I could release myself from this, which in turn would release the beautiful grey haired woman … the woman that was me. The Water Witch from the pond reached up and gave me a pair of cutters. I could do this … I could release this once and for all. I cut the wire that surrounded my chest, that wire which held me back from healing and loving once more. It quickly unspun … disintergrating, along with all the grief, guilt and pain. She was free … we were free … I was free! She saw her grandmother and her son walking towards her. Last I saw her, she was walking hand in hand with them. Spirit never dies.
As I spoke with Julia, after an amazing healing from my grandmothers, my Goddess, my grandfathers, my animal totems and guides, my angels, ancestors and elders … I saw areas of my life where this vow/decision had showed up. I have the most amazing son, whom I adore and who lives in Tasmania. I also have a wonderful partner, who lives in SW Queensland. I have struggled over the last 6 to 12 months, to decide if I move to be with my son or follow my heart to be with my partner. It was this fear of letting my son go and trusting that no harm would come to him that was holding me back. Was I going to make the wrong decision? Trying to make that decision continued to cause me heartache, grief and guilt. I love my son more than life itself and have always bought him up to live his own life … to do what is right for him. However, I was unable to apply this to myself. After my session with Julia I knew that it was time for me to love myself and trust that the move to be with the man I love is right. And to trust that my son is living his own unique journey.
Last night, I was drawn to become the keeper of Julia's Butterfly Sister Witch Medicine Doll. Despite her being the most beautiful doll, there was something about her that embodied so many of my loves and my fears. Butterfly Sister is my connection … she is my little doll who I let go down the river … she has come back to me. No longer am I lost … I am home.
I never saw myself as a healer. I felt I had no special gifts. My Swan Blessing past life session showed me that it does not need to be complicated and I do not need to judge my gifts. That sometimes the most simple things like listening, understanding and compassion, can be the most powerful healing of all.
Thankyou just does not seem enough. I knew today would be special. What I didn’t know, was just how special or life changing it would be. Still wrapped in the beautiful, loving arms of Swan." Sharon, 2016
It was a pleasure and honour to journey with Sharon and I remembered as we journeyed that Sharon had also attended a medicine doll circle the year before. How beautiful to discover that the medicine of doll making had been with her all along. Here is a photograph of the doll Sharon made in the circle - and a confirmation of the ancestral story that was yet to be remembered. I'm sure there will be many more medicine dolls to pass through the hands of 'the listener' in the future.
Swan Blessing Ancestral Ceremony and Doll Making Circle - 9th April, Melbourne (details)