Swan Story :: The Net Mender and Perfectionism

Newhaven Fisherman - reproduced with acknowledgement Edinburgh Museum

Recently I held a Swan Ancestral Session for a young man living in Iceland. He was born in another land and was brought up speaking English. Even though he had lived in Iceland for a long time and had learnt the language well, when it came time to express himself, especially when he was emotional, he found he could not speak fluently. And yet, when he dreamt, he dreamt in Icelandic and spoke it perfectly. He told me he was drawn strongly to Iceland, that he had to uproot his whole life and world to move there and yet he was facing these issues of being stuck in his expression there. When he got emotional he could not speak.

When we journeyed together he saw himself as a man mending nets. He was very skilled in his craft. His grandmother had taught him how to do this when he was a small boy. When his little hands couldn’t mend the nets well, his grandmother asked him to look into the water and see that ‘all nets mattered’ because even though it wasn’t perfect and he’d left big spaces in the net, the net still worked - small fish swam out of it but the bigger fish were held inside of it.

When the boy grew into a man, he was very respected in his village for his strong and well-made nets. He was relied upon and valued in his community. But with this responsibility, he became more rigid in his thinking and began to create a new belief that every net had to be perfect and that ‘every detail matters’.

Unfortunately the challenge in his life came when his wife passed away in childbirth. This moment fractured the man. He became obsessed with the detail that he’d missed. The one detail that he believed could have somehow saved his wife’s life. He punished himself for missing this detail, he believed he had failed and that he had not kept his wife ‘safe within the net’.

His grief was so strong that it took away his ability to speak.

After his session we spoke about perfectionism and that this story had placed an unbearable weight on him about getting ‘every detail right’. He created a new belief for himself to let go of the perfectionist and laugh at mistakes because he was always learning. He told me in his journey the most beautiful moment was when he looked into water and watched the fish in the reeds and listened to the music the water made.

It reminded me of this photo that I took when Tony & I used to gather water from the spring near Wombat Forest in Victoria.

Learn more about Swan Pathworking Sessions with Julia..

Swan Past Life Story - Unbinding Plant Wisdom

Today I share again with you the moving Swan Past Life story of Nicole Ahava who remembered a time of working closely with plants as medicine. I will always be grateful to Nicole for awakening my own ancestral memory of doll making. It is a path that once re-awakened, is hard to ignore!

We both knew that there was a memory Nicole carried of still needing to hide and work in secret. This is something that many of us feel and it can be very hard to reconcile with only the rational mind. I hope Nicole's story helps all of those feeling this fear to come out of the darkness and share your wise gifts too.

I am walking barefoot through a familiar forest. I come upon the well. I look into the deep pool and see her. She is a tribal woman, with long dark hair and dark eyes. She takes my hand and we cross the threshold, I am there. It is dark, the land is barren.She dances around a fire. I see so much pain inside her. This is a dance of mourning. Her face is full of sorrow as she stomps and writhers around the fire.

She shows me her journey. I see her wondering naked on the bare earth. She is a very small child. There has been a great upheaval and her family has left her behind. She is found by a wise old woman who takes her in, raising her and teaching her wisdom. They walk the earth together. This is where she learns her medicine. Later she is a grown woman she takes me to her village. We are in front of her mud hut with her six children. They are so beautiful. They have very little but there is so much love. She shows me her work with plants making medicine.

There has been great famine, all the people in her village have been driven away from their lands. They now live on barren land, fighting starvation and illness. Her husband has gone to a far away land to work. The women from the village cover their heads as they go to her for medicine and scurry away quickly with her brew hidden in their robes back to their huts. She is living in fear and isolation. She shows me how they come, soldiers, tearing her children out of her arms. They are taking them away, she pleads with them desperately, she vows never to use her medicine again, but they take them all away.

Finally I see her lying on the bare earth, she is old and lonely, overwhelmed with grief. She lets her body go and is instantly free.

I am back in the forest at the water’s edge we are facing each other. I honour her. I understand why she made that vow. She smiles at me. She knows why we are here. It is time to let it go. We hold each other with deep love and she transforms into light she is surrounded and embraced by her family, her children, her husband, the wise old lady and her mother they are all free.

I am standing before the daughter of the well bound heavily. Together we cut the bindings and instantly I feel myself expand, I am free. She takes me into her sacred well, all the daughters are there. I am floating in the sacred well. The daughters are washing away all that burdens my soul. I am cleansed, pure, light and free.

The first time I got an email from Sacred Familiar about the Swan Journey Sessions I knew it was something that I just had to do. I put it aside for a while but the swan medicine continued to call me. It is a very sacred and profound blessing. In this life I was born a healer. As a child I would give healing to sick animals, I would lay in my bed at night and send healing to people. Years later when I began to explore my own healing I became a Reiki master and it all came back to me, but I would find that every time I shared my medicine the energy would get stuck with me or my children would get sick. I could not share my medicine because I was afraid that it would harm my children.

The swan journey really is very gentle as she continues to unfold and expand in my life. There have been many changes I have been able to share freely without fear, I feel as though a channel has been cleared from which I am free to connect and receive more clearly and my medicine is changing, becoming more potent. I extend my deepest gratitude for this journey and to Julia. Thank you.

Nicole 2013

Rachel's Vow to Bind Her Femininity - Released with the Magdalenes

The Artists' Suffrage League

Sometimes before holding group Swan Blessing journeys I worry that there may be a chance that these large dreaming pools are not strong enough to give the journeyers all the answers they need. I worry that without one-on-one assistance as I give in personal Swan Blessing ceremonies, that they may not see as well or that vital clues may be missed. And then when I talk to the participants of these circles, I am always blown away by the clarity and strength of their journeys - journeys that are often very deep and potent. I have come to realise that Swan's medicine will work in any environment that is held as sacred space and that everyone always receives exactly what they need.

At the dreaming pool of Femmina Unbound at the Convent I was eager to hear back from the sisters journeying in such proximity to the site of the Magdalene Laundries. I had a feeling that they may have gone far deeper than ever before. Before I began the group Swan Blessing I was told by Swan to create the intention to ask them to journey to and release the strongest binding belief or promise of the past upon the Sacred Feminine. This is Rachel's story of her journey taken in the presence of the Magdalenes, a cause close to Rachel's own heart. Her's is a potent Swan story of release from the very literal bindings of the past - the beliefs that negated Womens' Wisdom and stopped access to higher education. I believe we are at a very important time when we are being asked to value education but to stop the worship of the educational hierarchies that dominate and control learning and do not honour and teach the valuable ancestral wisdom of intuition and creativity.  We must learn to value both again and understand that wisdom comes from within and cannot be found by climbing a corporate education ladder but by spending time alone, going deeper inside to truly meet yourself. Only then can we come to truly understand our own Ancestral Medicine and how it can best be applied to serve our community and Earth.

"A man appears before me as I gaze into the dark pool at my feet. I have been taken here by the Swan, to uncover what binds me, what I need to reclaim and release from my Spirit's past as part of Feminina Unbound at the Abbotsford Convent on the first day of Spring.
...
A well dressed man in the fashion of the early 19th century, he stands straight and tall, untamable curls peaking out from under his tall hat.  His eyes speak of knowledge and determination, but also betray a hint of something out of place, something deeply hidden.
I see him standing in a grand wood-lined room lecturing to a group of men - lawyers, politicians, academics, men of wealth and means.  Speaking with eloquence and passion, he is arguing for the rights of women, emploring these men to understand the importance of equal rights for all citizens as the new century is born.  They listen, expression ranging from skepticisim to downright mocking on their faces, but they are at least listening for once. 

Later as I watch he strides down a street in a well-to-do area, gas lamps being lit as evening rolls in.  He is nodding acknowledgement to the many people he passes, but he doesn't really 'see' them.  His mind is blank but for a growing sense of anticipation tinged with a slight trace of fear.  For the first time I sense a tightening in his body - from chest to hips - which grows more and more uncomfortable as he walks now.
His chest aches by the time he reaches the door to his home.  Stepping inside it's clear he is a bachelor - the house is furnished well in a strongly masculine style, clean and neat but devoid of any feminine touches.  He forces himself through a precise nightly routine quickly as I sense a strong eagerness to move upstairs.  For the first time I realise that something? someone? is waiting upstairs - this is what he's been waiting for all day.  His 'dirty little secret'?!? 

The sense of binding grows more and more uncomfortable by the moment and the fear and excitement are all consuming.  Quick steps take him up two flights of stairs until he stands before a securely locked door, his heartracing now as he pulls a heavy key from within his waistcoat and opens the solid wooden door and bounds upstairs into the attic.
Striking a match he lights the glass lamp that sits on a small table at the top of the stairs and a soft, feminine room is revealed by the soft glow. Light and beautiful, the room is a stark contrast to the rest of the house.  A hand embroidered quilt covers a bed against one wall, the scent of fresh flowers wafts up as he walks pass a dressing table covered in perfume bottles and makeup pots.  A beautifully carved armoire sits in the far corner next to an ornate full length mirror.  The only masculine piece in the room is an empty valet stand in the corner. 

In quick steps he crosses the floral rug to stand in front of the mirror and begins to undress, hanging each item carefully on the valet.  Only as he removes his starched white shirt do i see a glimpse of bandages covering his whole torso.  The bindings I could feel as he walked are literal!  My mind is filled with childhood visions as the bindings are unwound slowly to reveal the soft feminine curves of the body underneath. A pretty little girl bearing witness from her hiding spot in the corner.  She knows she must remain hidden, but all her instincts tell her to go and protect her Mother who sits sobbing in the palour once again as Father screams at her for spilling his tea..."You stupid, worthless woman!"  

The warmth of the tears running down her face is replaced by the warming heat of the fire in her grandfather's study, where she sits for hours as he discusses with her all manner of things that little girls aren't supposed to know.  Her mind being expanded and tested, her reason and logic being exercised and challenged.  

A first class education is his gift to her despite his son's protestations that "educating women is a waste of money".  But it comes with a price, as she finds only frustration as she steps into the world as a young woman, only to be ignored, overlooked and dismissed as she tries to engage high profile men in meaningful conversation over the rights of women.  But her determination is absolute and she is willing to do whatever is needed to make her stand. 

As the last bandages are wound into a neat roll and placed on the valet she can breath deeply for the first time all day and she looks at her naked body in the mirror.  She has her mother's figure - full hips, a small waist - perfect for the fashions of the day, for the high waisted full skirts that she will never wear. She slips on a luxurious silk robe and moves to the dressing table where she primps and preens in the mirror - anointing herself in the finest of scents and lotions.  Fingers fluffing her hair back into soft curls from where she tried to tame them.  Missing her long locks that her mother used to brush for her each evening before bed. 

She will never wear a beautiful gown and dance with handsome men at a ball. She will have no lover, no husband, no children. Her urges and desires are pushed down, hidden, ignored in the name of the 'greater good'.  Her only indulgence is this hidden room, the only place she can be "her".  In order to fight for the freedom of women, she has had to sacrifice her own femininity."   

Rachel, Femmina Unbound at the Convent 2013

Image chosen by Rachel

Thank you Rachel for sharing this potent Swan story of release from the belief that we could not appear to be feminine and hold our power. I know that in this sharing you have already helped those who read it. I believe that even if we do not carry these bindings personally, we carry the wound in our collective consciousness. How deeply were our own mothers and grandmothers affected? Was this passed through the lineage? It's important to feel into the blood line and clear binding beliefs that are not your own.  

I love that now in her present life, Rachel has embraced the medicine of teaching women in circle in her work through Soul Divine. Rachel is also a gifted Tarot reader and has deep ancestral bonds to the medicine gifted to her by her own ancestors. You can experience Rachel's beautiful 'soul mamma magic' at her circles: Tea by the Hearth. I can heartily recommend her as a guide and holder of sacred space for women. Love to you Rachel and thank you for bringing your medicine to the Magdalenes.  We welcome another Sacred Artisan to this world again: Teacher -  bridging the worlds and creating pathways to women's wisdom. 

** as a side note, the day after reading Rachel's Swan Story, I found this article on the Sworn Virgins of Albania. 

Swan Blessing Story - The Enchantress Reclaimed

Ruth St. Denis 1910

Today I share a song of a Swan Blessing story by Lucille who reflects on the journey of the Ancestral Medicine of the Sacred Enchantress. In the rise of the Divine Feminine we are hearing our bodies call and sing again. The Swan invites you to know your own true beauty, to live on this incredible earth deeply, to FEEL again. This is Lucille's story, and I honour her for sharing it with us all. May it assist you on your own journey to release past lifetimes of shame, judgement and fear. Sister Swan you are Beauty!

My soul has memories. They have grown over the years. Burnings, vivid recall. Knowings of persecution, fear, judgement and hate. Triggered by images in movies, words of others, people and their looks of scorn. The word Bitch and the word Witch, only one letter separates them. I have oscillated between empowerment, true intuition and denial, depression and self loathing. Why am I this way? Why can I feel what you feel, even when I don’t want to? Why can I sense what you are thinking, even when I don’t care to? 

My Magic is movement, the beauty of my body. The form and the soft caress of my sway. I entice, inspire and engage the senses. I hypnotise you with my hips. My way is truly feminine, my undulations without shame. We dance, we love and we birth, all from the centre of our hips, the seat of our power, the lips of love. The gateway of desire, passion, life and power. 

Once a blessing, often a curse. They way of the enchantress Witch has been a hard way, our power when suppressed and denied, turns dark. It turns ugly and seeps out, from under the door like an angry thick  fog. Black magic, Sorcery. Hate is powerful, my emotions have caused great pain, unto others but most of all unto myself. 

The way of love and light is easy. The way out of the murk, the quick sand that threatens to eat you up is swift and painless. Those who judge me I now hold a mirror to, those who hate me, I now feel compassion for. Those who don’t want to know what I truly live for, can’t see my passion, desire and need for Magic, I let them go.  Those that come to me for healing, that feel called to be released from the shame of their bodies, from deep sensual wounds that have been carried for generations, I say come. Let me hold you, let me heal you, let me see you for the beauty and goodness that you truly are. Divine, Wonderous, Damp and Sexy. Woman.  

Trust your body! You’ll know when its right, because your Pussy will tinkle with delight.  She will bubble up when the flow is perfect, when you intuition says fly. Use her wisdom everyday, in everyway. 

Let’s take our power back, let’s turn the words around. 

Now I say,
I’m Bitchin, when I’m Witchin. 

The Swan Blessing. What can I say? It was when I came home.

Thank you Lucille, beautiful woman! You can invite the enchantress into your own life through Lucille's classes 'Awaken Serpent', enjoy the many riches she has to offer through her website: www.itsladylucille.com.  And visit her brand new store Cobra Culture!

Journey to the Magdalenes

A month ago Tony and I visited the site of the Magdalene Laundries at Abbotsford Convent here in Melbourne in preparation for workshop to beheld there. I have been wanting to visit the site for many years now but always doubted that I could be of any assistance - it always felt like such a huge undertaking. Would us gathering there be enough to help? Over the last year the reminders have grown, particularly with Royal Commission into Child Abuse being launched by the brave detective Peter Fox - some call him 'whistleblower' I call him the brave Fox. I knew that if I did not do something, that the rage and pain I felt for the women and children incarcerated there would only grow - maybe devour me.

When I sent out notice of this gathering, I began to have nightmarish visions and waves of fear moving through me particularly early in the morning. I received another vision to help me understand what I was feeling. I saw a young woman screaming at me and I felt her hysteria. Her hysteria, her madness, terrified me more than anything else. And I recognised it in myself, because it lives so deeply entrenched in the females in my family. We carry strong chords of madness, suicide, depression in my blood line, in our lineage. Many of the women in my family are psychic and Catholic - something that they never seemed to be able to hold together in harmony. And then in the vision I saw this frightening Lilith cowering but still hysterical as someone came towards her to help her. And she became like a small frightened dog who has been beaten too often. I saw the dog bite the hand that wanted to help it and return back to the abuser instead. The dog had lost all of it's natural animal instincts. I saw that this is what happened to the women when we had our ties to ancestral medicine and wisdom cut by religion and patriarchy. We lost our power and knowing of our own spirituality. We lost connection to our instincts and intuition. We no longer knew what was good or bad for us - we had become conditioned. To receive this message was huge for me, it has helped me to understand many of the women in my family, to understand my own poor choices of the past. In that moment, I felt the line of women in my family released and unbound from a belief that we needed to be forgiven.

Tree growing outside the Abbotsford Convent and former site of the Magdalene Laundries in Melbourne

Three nights ago I dreamt of an enormous tree. A tree like the Moreton Bay Fig at the top of this post. I took this photo 2 weeks ago while holding Swan Journey Sessions in Sydney - the place of my birth and family. In this dream I was shown that we are sleeping trees when we have not reclaimed our ancestral roots and gifts. But like a sleeping tree, when we are ready, we can blossom and grow to monumental heights. I received a vision on the morning of this dream and in it was shown that one of the most harming outcomes of religion and patriarchy on feminine mysteries was that it cut the tap root to the Ancient Mother.

When people move trees from different lands without wisdom, they often do not take care to look after the tap root - a root that travels far down into the earth way beyond the reach of the main roots. When they sever the tap root they cut a chord that draws from the deepest part of the Earth and this is vital to the health of the tree. And so when the tree is re-planted in a different environment, even when feed and watered and cared for, the tree never grows in the same way again and in many circumstances, the tree withers and dies. I understood this to mean that we are not dead, our wisdom is not so far removed from us in the modern world & that we can find our way to it again. By consciously creating an energetic tap root back to the healthy ancestors, we can awaken and leave our slumber to blossom fully in other lands and in the present time.

When I felt the gift of wisdom that came when I connected my own tap root back to the healthy ancestor, I was filled with such trust and love for my own way of being in the world again and a healing of my hiraeth, ancestral longing for the mother country of my ancestors. In that moment I felt the waves of fear and sadness I had been experiencing about returning to such a place as the Magdalene Laundries fall away. I felt the power of love to acknowledge, remember and assist the spirits of these women and children rise up. These buildings that held the incarcerated women and children are so superficial - so new in the ancient world. We are stronger than these buildings and false institutions.

I understand fears and concerns but I want you to know that these fears you feel do not belong with us in this time - they are from the past. Whether that be from a recent or distant past - they are past. Whether they are flowing from the wounds of your own blood lineage - grandmother to mother - they are past.

Tree growing in the quadrangle of the Magdelene Laundry compound which has razor wire on the high stone walls around it.

Here long before the convent and cruel Magdalene Laundries - Birrarung (Yarra River) which translates to river of mists and Wurundjeri people, part of the Kulin Nation, traditional custodians of the land and river.

Swan Blessing Story - Releasing the Vow to Hide the Healer

Far From Home - Morgan Weistling

Tonight I share Robyn's Swan Blessing past life story of her Vow to Hide the Healer - to not let anyone know who she truly was. This fear of persecution is one of the strongest ties that binds us and stop us from stepping into spiritual and healing work again in our current lifetime. I was very touched by Robyn's courage to face this fear and was thrilled to see her rapid transformation after she released her spirit from this heavy vow. I hope that in the telling of Robyn's own story, it helps those who are also feeling this same fear to realise that this vow is ancient and does not belong with your spirit in this time of change and rise of the Sacred Feminine. I hope it helps you to feel that you are not alone and that you can come out of the shadows and into community with your sisters and brothers again.

Thank you Robyn and we are so happy to see the unveiling of your Wise Medicine here in this world again.

As I looked into the well I became a seven year old girl with long sandy brown hair in plats. All around  was forest. Beautiful majestic trees that were as high as the sky. I  was met by a lady, but could only see her curly, dark auburn red hair.  She was wearing an emerald green cloak made of raw silk. It was stunning and shiny.  I couldn't see her face through the shadow of the hood.  I felt we were mother and child. She beckoned me to follow her and seemed very excited to show me something. We were skipping and running with such excitement and freedom through the forest. 

We came to a clearing in the trees where there were some people in a circle surrounding a fire. They were pagans, all holding hands chanting blessings to the earth. I could see their shapes in white with no defining marks. The only defining vision was a giant rabbit joined in amongst the people, my mother and myself. We joined the circle and began to become one with earth and all the people. We prayed for healing of the world, for peace, for the sick, for all in need. We were healers, shamans and in an age where this belief could have you branded and killed as a witch. 

Suddenly there were screams and men attacking us with sticks, breaking up the circle and beating anyone they could catch. As we fled into the forest they grabbed my mother. They pulled us apart, our arms stretched out for one last chance of touch. I  watched as my mother was carried away screaming and kicking holding her arms out to me. I was crying out for her with no hope.  I had to hide until it was safe to emerge. As I looked up, a hand reached out for me. It was a man who had come to help. He took me to a secret place where we were allowed to be free and safe. We all lived together in harmony with nature and continued to heal. They taught me the ways of nature and how to use the powers that I possessed. 

I grew into a tall, stunning looking woman that walked tall and proud hiding my deep secrets. I  was a healer with such powers that I could heal with a single smile or glance. I had my secret kept deep within, not sharing through fear of being killed.  I healed from afar. I was living in a Scandinavian town on the edge of the forest. Nobody knew who I was, but I had respect. 

When it was time to see my binding I felt a huge rope coil around my entire body much like a snake would strangle their prey. I was bound with this rope with a giant knot in my mouth. The knot represented how I swore to never discuss my secret within. Never to let anyone know I am a healer.  Then my mother was reunited with me to show me I was safe. As she put out her arms for me, a feeling of love and peace shot through my entire body. Then my ropes were cut and they fell to the ground. The young girl was free to talk her truth. No more silence, no more fear, I too am free.

After my blessing the Swan circled above with the sun behind her. She came low enough to pick me up and carry me away.  I embraced her with gratitude for allowing me to take this journey. I felt safe with her as she flew through the perfect sky, then spiraled down and around to land in the dam paddock of my home. A home I can now appreciate and feel settled and safe in from this day forward. 

What an amazing experience. The most interesting guided meditation I have ever done. The emotion that was experienced was so intense inside my heart, but was finally put at peace through this magical healing. Having picked some cards Julia described exactly where I was in my heart. I was feeling trapped with my strong spiritual belief having to remain a secret, through fear of being persecuted, criticized and judged.  At the end of the day, my choice to be who I am truly within my heart was being ignored, leaving me untrue to myself and my life as who I am today. 

I believe more and more in past lives and at times have had some amazing things happen to convince me even more again. I have always had a yearning to be in India. It was a place where one of my many spiritual steps were taken and where I have always felt at home and allowed to embrace spirituality. I have always felt a strong connection to India through family history, past and present, but also in the heart.  In India, people show you respect for your strong belief.  Monks, nuns and Holy men are looked up to and never persecuted. My past lives as a holy being were many and I was loved and respected for who I was. This was making it hard to settle in my own home, a paradise surrounded by nature. A place that people come to enjoy and relax. But for me, no, India felt like home.  For a while now I had the feeling that my beliefs and abilities  should be kept secret, as judgements and criticisms I have had to face from opening my heart to people have felt so unfair. I am not cuckoo or going to hell, I am an amazing being with a lot to share. Life is good! 

So a couple of days pass. I start to see visions of my past again. This time, I recognize my mother. She isn't my maternal mother from this life as I originally thought, she is Judy, healer I bump into on occasion. In my Scandinavian life, Judy is my mother. Judy is also the healer that helped me on a few occasions. She turns up at the right time. A lovely lady I have always felt like I should get to know better, but has never had the chance. First thing the next morning After this visit to Melbourne my family all went to our chiropractor for our regular adjustment. We hadnt seen a single soul in town before entering the clinic. Guess who were the patients before us, Judy and her husband Jack. I hadn't seen them for over 18 months and now I feel its time to get to know them better. I think I have a new teacher. 

Thank you Julia and Tony for helping me find peace. Look forward to another magical experience with you both.  Robyn, 2013

Fear of Persecution - a Witch's Swan Journey

Another beautiful Swan Journey story to share with you today from Palliative Care nurse and death worker, Bec Walker.

I was in a small cottage in the woods, surrounded by small children , an elderly lady was crying as I  kissed them goodbye.  I knew they were coming for me. I knew I was a wise woman and they feared me. I actually felt at peace. I told the elderly woman it would be alright. I was quite young with beautiful long hair.

My next thought was to get away from cottage as I could see the torches in the distance.  I started running through the woods. They caught me about 500 meters from my cottage. My thought then was are my family are safe as I looked back towards the cottage? They had me on my knees with my head pulled back by my hair. I was surrounded by men and could feel the fear in their heart. I was taken under the cover of darkness. It was a lynch mob. A powerful man with the authority was behind the scenes. Orchestrating the outcome. I felt he was scared of my inner power.

The very next thing I saw was a vision of her standing on a pyre. It quite surreal as I stepped out as myself from the future to see my past self on the pyre. I could see a sea of what looked like Pilgrim hats, and a town square. She was searching frantically for someone or something in the faces before her; she knew this was going to happen. There was no hatred in her body, only sadness and compassion, for the people doing this to her. I watched as the tears streamed down my face. I stepped forward and her eyes locked onto to mine. She smiled at me and said with her eyes:  ah good you are here! I have been waiting. My soul felt like it exploded in to a million pieces, it was such a deep and profound connection.Her words to me were: You are free, Have no fear. They cannot come for you in this lifetime. Your family are safe. Be true to your soul and path. With that she closed her eyes and tilted her head skywards. And whispered 'I am ready” to the Heavens. As they lit the pyre. I saw a bright white light come down from above. She was enfolded by light and I could see two beings beside her. The flames had only reached her feet. But she was already free.

Julia thank you for releasing my fear/binding, in this life as a healer/witch/ wise woman. I hadn’t realised that this fear of judgement and persecution had been holding me back. Also my intense dislike of authority makes sense. My past self had no fear; No anger, she accepted it, in perilous times of who she was.  Her message to me was the gift of Freedom, acceptance and walking the path of self truth. No more Hiding.

With Love, Bec 2012

Swan Blessing Story - Releasing the Burden of Past Life Guilt

How many of our gifts and natural skills are we holding back in this lifetime because of mistakes made in past lives? For Emily it was her natural ability as a leader and wise man that became bound when in leading people away from war she found she did not have the skills to help them all survive in the wild. When she lost the person that she loved most in that lifetime, she blamed herself and created a very strong binding vow upon her spirit in this lifetime - the Vow to Never Lead Again. In moments of trauma, fear and remorse we often make promises and vows to our own spirits that carry heaving binding. When we create theses Sacred Contracts we may believe in them so deeply that we carry their binding energy into our next incarnations. These kinds of vows and promises carry a heavy burden of shame and guilt and a deep sense of unworthiness to live a happy and peaceful life - indeed for some it is hard to feel worthy to be living at all.

It is not my belief that we are here to 'make amends' or be punished for the mistakes of past lifetimes - I do not believe in 'bad karma'. I see each lifetime as an opportunity to be conscious in each moment and to do our best. This does not mean we have to be perfect, we are all learning. It means to recognise when we have made mistakes, to learn from them and to choose differently next time we are in a similar situation. It is important not feel regret and guilt about the past - whether it be from past lifetimes or a more recent event from your current lifetime. Let it go and open your heart to the opportunities to be your Authentic True Self that await in the PRESENT moment. Every morning is a new birth, a new lifetime - full of choice and possibility. By embracing life as a mystery that keeps unfolding, you are letting go of needing to 'know' or to be 'right', letting go of carrying the burden of guilt and shame for events that cannot be changed. We must learn compassion for ourselves and embrace our Life Path as a journey to Wisdom and in doing so we will also be more accepting of the diverse paths of others.

I first heard from Emily when she sent me her Swan Story: Awakening the Black Serpent after journeying in the Swan Blessing Past Life circles that I held at Seven Sisters Festival. And to accompany her story, she sent me the most incredible collage artworks - it was a wonderful way to experience Emily's story on a very visual and deep level. It really touches my heart when I hear of people creating in any capacity after they journey with Swan Medicine - I believe creativity and opening visionary gifts is another 'wing' of the Swan Medicine after clearing past life binds. 

Recently I got to meet Emily in person when she travelled to Sherbrooke Forest to journey again with Swan.  Emily discovered that in the next lifetime she was a Scholar, living like a Hermit away from the world on top of a mountain. When she looked into his face she felt such love for this gentle soul but it was love that he could not feel for himself. 

"I see and hear so many birds on my way to the forest and I immediately feel the wild swan’s wings wrap around me when Julia welcomes me under the chestnut tree. It feels so safe and gentle. My heart sighs.
I easily slip into my mindstream, into the green of the forest where the water is calling to my heart. I let my heart lead me to the water and look deep into the still pool. I see an ancient face, tanned and wrinkled like the face of an old tree. Clear blue eyes crinkled at the edges with kindness. Is it a man or a woman? It doesn’t matter. I feel so much love and wisdom. As a hand reaches through the water to take mine I see it is an old man’s hand. He takes me across the threshold. Everything feels so easy and gentle. I let my heart follow. 

I walk behind him on a faint forest track, meandering through sun and shade, slowly winding up a mountainside. I feel how connected he is to this world, how the plants and animals and the richness of the earth pass through him on a cellular level. He is totally at one with his surroundings. He is the forest and the forest is him. He is filled with this knowing in his being. 

We reach the mountaintop. It is rocky and windy and wild. An eagle glides above us, just out of sight but a part of our interaction all the same. He is showing me the view…a ruined city far below. Just rubble and tumbled down towers and charred remains of what was once great. He is heavy hearted. It was his home. He has lost so much and been alone for so long. 

He shows me his happy childhood in the city...playing on the floor in a sunlit tower, learning to read and write with a loving tutor, growing into a wise scholar and advisor to the king. This king is his friend and like a brother. But he is a ruthless and brutal leader. He brings chaos, destruction, war and famine to his city. My wise and gentle scholar, he cannot change this man, he has failed, his advice has led to this ruin. 

He shows me how he fled the burning city, leading a small group of people to safety across the mountain. But he did not know the forest then. It was a long difficult journey and they were weak and starving. He didn’t know how or what to feed them. He was a city man and had never killed an animal in his life. Many of the people died on this journey because of his lack of knowledge.

We look into the face of a woman as she dies. He loves her, she is his one love that he never fully acknowledged or had time to appreciate. She whispers her love, her patience and forgiveness as she dies. She tells him her child is his daughter, please take care of her. When she passes, he is so desolate and alone. He takes the remaining people to the safety of a village and wanders away into the mountain forest. He will live as a hermit forever. He is responsible for so much death and destruction. He vows to never lead his people to harm. He will never be a leader again. This binding weighs as a heavy stone in his/my heart. 

I see his home in the forest, a simple wooden hut, cosy and full of books and dripping candles to light his long nights alone. He is writing, writing, filling so many pages. He is recording histories, forest wisdom, his deep knowing. He will share this so that no one need die or suffer for lack of knowledge. His daughter visits him here in the forest. She loves him so much and understands his heavy heart. She has the same energy as my mother in this life…such a wise, big hearted woman (who I can share so much time with now, healing the loss in his life). 

I am back beside the deep still pool. I let go of the stones in my heart. A sister of the well hands me a clear crystal to crush these stones. They smash into dust and blow away with the breeze. She guides me into the pool, it is warm, thick. It is no longer water but blood. I curl up in the heart-womb that the pool has become and the other sisters join the first, so that nine of them surround me. They peel back the veils that are wrapped so tightly around me, they peel back my skin. They remove all the bindings and heaviness that surrounds my heart and then slowly drift away so I am alone in the warm pool. I AM FREE. I feel my open heart beating. It says “I am a true and shining guide”. 

I see my past-self smiling at me from the forest. His wife and daughter have come for him. He is light hearted and FREE. Then I feel myself pulled upward with the wind. I feel the lightness and strength of my huge wings spread wide…I am the eagle, soaring and drifting above the mountaintop, visioning the world."  EMILY 2013

Thank you Emily for sharing your Swan Stories and art so generously it was an honour to guard the threshold as you reclaimed your Wild Wisdom again. 

And Emily has just informed me that she will now be teaching this beautiful art process and if you would like to learn how to make your own Collage for the Soul, Emily is holding an Introductory Workshop on Sunday 23rd June at the Mindful Wellness Centre. You can find out all of the details through Emily at emilymorter@ymail.com or phone: 0402 672 482. 

Collage created by Emily Morter after her Past Life Swan Blessing

Swan Blessing Returns to Sydney for Imbolc

Hello Sydney-siders we will be in your neck of the woods at Imbolc, the first stirring of Spring, 1st-5th August. We shall be offering personal Swan Blessing Past Life sessions from Glebe as well has holding talks and workshop at Desire Books in Manly.

Personal Swan Blessing is $160 for 1.5 hours and we are already taking bookings so if you are feeling called, we encourage you to get in early to reserve your session.