Hawai'ian Ancestor Doll - why we cannot wait to be perfect

Recently I was asked by a friend who is also a maker and artist if it is a good thing to create something for someone else when we ourselves are feeling down or unwell. I understand this question, I used to worry about the same thing and very strictly only created when in my utmost health. But one day I created a doll for a woman in great need of assistance, she was suffering panic attacks and I wanted to make her a doll right then when she needed it most. On that weekend I was in a state of grieving for someone in my own life but as I sat with the soft wool in my hands with all that colour around me - my favourite part of dollmaking is playing with colour - I realised that I began to feel a lot brighter and happier. What I discovered at the end of the creation process was that not only had I made a very beautiful and joyful doll, I was feeling so much better. I have found this to be one of the significant benefits of creating a healing doll for someone else - we receive that healing too. We heal ourselves through the practice of creating and I feel especially that in the act of sending good wishes and intentions to another, we receive the same blessing. A blessing doubled.

Last week, particularly around the Full Moon in Cancer, a Wolf Moon and first full moon of the year, the intensity of energy was enormous. Two astrological posts that I found very helpful to understand the energy at the moment were by Hare in the Moon Astrology and Mystic Mamma. Recently I have been dealing with an old back injury that I used to get when I was much younger. I have come to understand it is emotional and caused from 'holding on' and 'holding back'.  Just before the full moon I felt whatever was lurking down there in the depths for too long suddenly and terrifyingly rise to the surface - it was as if a sleeping volcano had suddenly awoken. At the same time, I was weaving a doll for a beautiful Hawai'ian sister, Wai'ala. I asked myself: can I make this doll when I am feeling so much of my own fear? Hesitantly I began preparing the medicine bundle to go inside her doll. As I did, I kept hearing the word 'orchid' and getting the message to include this flower for her. I knew I had 2 orchids grown with love by Tony's mother but for the life of me I couldn't find them. Finally I gave up and began to close up the bundle. But I kept hearing a woman's voice very firmly telling me to keep looking! She was not one to be argued with and so I looked again and finally found the orchids - in the last package of course! I placed them inside the bundle and I could feel right away the doll was happy.

When I shared the message with the Wai'ala about being told to find the orchid, she wrote:

'It's local folklore that our Hawai'ian goddess Pele loves and treasures orchids and it's been said she moves her lava flow around certain ones to save them and consumes everything else around them; preserving them alive in a surrounding sea of lava. I have great joy that the medicine doll requested one'.

On the night before the full moon I dreamt of an elderly man coming forward with a carefully wrapped box. Inside the box he said was an ancient crustacean. I felt very honoured but also scared to be it's keeper as if it was too precious and I was not worthy. I was also unsure how to keep it. I was then shown through a series of lessons on how to care for myself more and how to honour and protect the precious animal and mineral medicine gifts that I receive. I was also shown how to release what I had been holding on to. When I awoke from the dream it was as if I was still living in it, it was full moon and I was aware that I had work to do and instructions to follow from the dream.

I woke up and began to finish the medicine doll and as I wove the colours into her dress I saw that she would be holding a crystal skull to represent her ancestors and adorned with fossils of ancient oceans. As I placed the fossils into her dress I realised that the elder in my dream was one of Wai'ala's ancestors. In the weaving of the doll for his granddaughter I had created a space where he could enter my dream and assist me. On completion, the doll told me her name was FireOrchid Flowing Water Woman. At first I thought that her name was too long, I tried to shorten it to just FireOrchid but the doll was adamant again, she was also FlowingWater. I placed her in a large medicine circle with all of the medicine dolls, my personal dolls too and also all of the animal, plant and mineral medicines that go into the creation of each doll. I held a ceremony at the full moon singing gratitude to every creature, every being, my ancestors, Pachamama, my animals guides and all that help me to create the medicine dolls.

The next morning I awoke to read a new message from Wai'ala:

'I am so greatly honored, and full of bliss that while bringing her into creation my ancestors visited you and helped heal you and grow your natural talents. Their gift of the crustacean is so beautiful and inspiring. I've been seeking a stronger or more open connection with them, and felt a medicine doll would facilitate that amongst many other things, but I think that facilitation alone maybe most healing. It sounds like that connection was forged in many many ways. I have so many blisssful comments on all the details and beautiful work....but I'll only ask; Did I ever tell you what my name Wai'ala means?? It's my grandmothers Hawai'ian name and it translates to English as, fragrant flowing water; flower water, or commonly known as Flowing Water.'

I was blown away by this - I had no idea of the meaning of Wai'ala's Hawai'ian name or that this doll was intended to open the pathways of ancestral medicine. To receive this message was the just one part of the huge healing I received from Wai'ala and her ancestors - another was meeting this little tawny frogmouth. They have been walking with me this whole week and they are strong teachers! I am happy to say that I am practicing more gratitude and discipline around my medicine practices and have even released my hold on certain medicines that I was informed were not for me. It has left me with a sense of trust in what I'm doing and deep honour of the animal world, even the ancient creatures who are no longer existing in the same way on our earth but are still here in other forms.

I think sometimes we wait to be perfect to make something beautiful. If we do this, perhaps we will never create anything at all, thinking that we aren't there yet or aren't worthy. I feel that would be very sad for all of us and especially Mother Earth. Each creation is a ripple of love, a teaching from the mother in birthing with love. In these changing times there is so much healing and assistance available to us, especially when we create with the intention of helping another. We are all a little broken at times, we are flawed and a little ragged. We are all human and we are all in this together. Our shadow helps us to keep connected to compassion and empathy and when someone comes to us and they are facing their own dark night of the soul, we may know exactly what is needed. Because we have have been through it ourselves, we can give them hope to keep moving forward.  A tarot spread that really helped me to face my fears during this moon time was a shadow reading I call 'shining a light on the scary'.

My deepest gratitude goes to Wai'ala! I look forward to hugging you in person under the Redwoods at Spirit Weavers Gathering! And my deepest gratitude to your ancestors. I am honoured to share their message:

'Let go of what is not needed, protect what is sacred, remember the living ancients and trust in yourself.'

Thank you FireOrchid Flowing Water Woman.

Tawny Frogmouth Animal Message

Tawny Frogmouth by Sacred Familiar

Look who I met this week! This is Oscar, a nine week old orphaned tawny frogmouth a nightjar that is closely related to the kingfisher family. I met him just after the full moon when I finally got to take a big walk in the forest after my back healed. After my walk I visited my friend Anne. It's always a thrill to see her because she is a wildlife rescuer & you never know who else you might meet. His eyes were mesmerising and he had a little black curtain that he would disappear behind when he felt he had had enough of human interaction. Could be a message there for us all?!

Tawny Frogmouth by Sacred Familiar

Tawny Frogmouth by Sacred Familiar

Tawny Frogmouth by Sacred Familiar

Spirit Dolls Made in our Workshop!

Spirit Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

One of my favourite things about teaching dollmaking is to see the photos of the dolls made during and after our gatherings. This month we held a full moon doll workshop in the forest and look at the results! How amazing are these dolls?!  

Their new dollmakers also received many messages and assistance for their own path even when they created dolls for their loved ones. That's the beauty of creating with intention to give to another - we receive the blessing too.  And I particularly love that the tradition is already being passed on to the families and children of the participants - weaving the new circle. Thank you to everyone who joined us in our dollmaking circle in the forest and thank you to Louise, Lee, Robyn and Eliene for sharing photographs and stories of your beautiful dolls and their healing stories. We will hold our next dollmaker circle early in the new year.

The dolls above and below were created by Louise. The doll above was made during our workshop:

'Meet Fireya resting in my beautiful elephants ear plant. She brings messages of courage and trust to all who walk their own path," Louise.

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

The dolls above and below were created by Lee. Lee created the doll above for her friend Betsy in our workshop:

'I feel her message is about making yourself a priority and from that all will flow. I loved learning with you, thank you again for sharing,' Lee.

And below are the dolls that Lee created with her youngest daughter Lilia. Lilia's doll is the one in blue - she's so wise and beautiful Lilia, thank you for sharing!

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

Meet Daisy and Monkey - medicine dolls created by Robyn. She made a doll for herself in the workshop and a doll for her husband Geoff when she got home and is looking forward to creating dolls for her children.

"Here is the start of our family. Meet Daisy again and Monkey. This is Geoff's doll. He's a lovely wizard that wears the earth as a coat. His coat bears ocean and earth, cloud, lightening and storms, yet underneath on his base there is a peace symbol to represent all the calmness. His heart is the sun which is full of love and radiates across the world. Geoff has always been my personal weather man. He has a magic citrine wand on a staff of sage  sticks and wears a Tibetan sanskrit writing pendant of hung meaning walk the talk. Inside there is a turquoise to help speak the truth with love and integrity, herbs for sleeping, bottlebrush for changes,purple peace symbol for inner peace and tolerance, skin herbs for healthy skin. Thanks again. Daisy is Strong and her medicine has been working with instant effect,' Robyn.

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

And finally we share 2 potent medicine dolls created by Eliene. The doll above was created for her beloved, Catherine.

'Hi Julia, I loved the workshop... the doll I started at the workshop changed a lot over the next 24 hours. During this time she told me that was The Herbalist. She became rugged up (scarfs etc) and I knew she came from a very cold country... Catherine loves her. The one for myself didn't as for any more than rose leaves. Her spirit is strong. Thanks for the experience as I am enjoying connecting with my inner child...' Eliene.

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

The Dream, the Eye and The Dark Crystal

Recently I remembered a dream that I had about 7 years ago where I was walking along a dirt road in a forest carrying a doll that looked like a wizard or Merlin. I kept staring into the doll's amazing blue eyes that were incredibly ALIVE! I came to a little shop in the forest and a woman asked me if I would like to sell this rare doll. Even though I loved it I was also comfortable in parting with it and gave the doll to her. When I remembered this dream I was blown away.  When I dreamt it I was living in a tiny flat in the inner city of Melbourne, in a job I hated and even though I felt the dream was important for some reason, I thought the messages was merely symbolic. Thank goodness I write so many of my dreams down because I have proof now of their prophetic nature and that helps me to keep trusting and following my intuition.

When I recalled the dream, I was brought again and again back to the eyes of the doll and then I journeyed right back to being a small child and remembered that I loved to stare into the glass eyes of my dolls for hours and hours. I began to think about dolls and puppets that had a similar enchanted look and I recalled the Jim Henson film, The Dark Crystal. I came very late to this film after a friend suggested that I watch it for the message it held : 'where mountains talk to each other and rivers sing'. So this week I watched The Dark Crystal again as I made a medicine doll and I was entranced by every aspect, especially the craft and detail in each puppet and sets and the overall design and look of the film created by artists, Brian and Wendy Froud.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBUEGrIcfzw

And now here's the weaving magic of this story of the dream, the eye and The Dark Crystal: when I posted a photo on our Facebook page and  Instagram of The Dark Crystal, I received comments from so many people telling me how the film had influenced and enchanted them as children and how it is still so beloved to them. And then I heard from master toy designer, Tim Clarke, who worked on and built all of the Mystics in The Dark Crystal! Tim built the 7 foot beings, the Mystics, directly from the drawings of Brian Froud. I love these ancient and gentle creatures, their wrinkles forming spirals and symbols on their cheeks. My favourite Mystic is of course urUtt the Weaver. Tim said he was happy that The Dark Crystal was still inspiring people twenty years later. Well, last night I caught the final golden thread when I read that the genesis of the creation of The Dark Crystal came about when Jim Henson discovered a taxidermist's glass eye! He said: 'It got me interested in doing creatures that really looked alive'. And that is what dollmaking is all about for me, finding ways to enchant the doll with so much spirit that it fills with life. I want children particularly to feel and see that the doll is there as a living, breathing friend.

This week was a lovely reminder to trust the dreaming, even if it is many years old - so much of that dream has already come true - I now live in Sherbrooke Forest, my home is on a dirt road and close by is a magical shop called Epoch that looks like it was handmade by elves. Some of my dolls have found their new keepers there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQY8Ei3cda0

Poem for the OwlKeeper's Daughter - Barn Owl doll

Owls are magical creatures and there is something so gentle in the heart-shaped face of the Barn Owl. We were gifted feathers of the barn owl from a friend who lives in Queensland and they are the softest feathers I have ever held. When we offered The OwlKeeper's Daughter, we received this beautiful poem from Fiona Lewis, another Sherbrooke Forest inhabitant :

The owl keepers daughter offers trust in the night The owl keepers daughter brings vision as a light The owl keepers daughter lodges a crystal in the heart where the wisdom of foresight pierces illusion like a dart The owl keepers daughter so gentle and quiet whispers peaceful incantations in the fading twilight The owl keepers daughter brings the oracle to life and ever so still cuts through fear like a knife

Thank you Fiona! We're very happy that she is already inspiring creativity - your words tell her story so well. Blessings and love on your owl wing journeys in the forest x

StagWoman Medicine Doll Drawn by Alice Savage

This week I received the finished drawing of our StagWoman medicine doll by Italian artist, Alice Savage. And of course she came at a time when I really needed it. She is magnificent and this photo doesn't do her full justice - she is drawn with diamond ink and shimmers in the light. The StagWoman was a personal medicine doll that I created for myself last year when I first moved to the forest and now she lives with Alice and is working her magic across the oceans. I feel this doll helped me to grow stronger and more resilient in the forest - I wonder what she is sharing now?

I'm so happy to be involved in this collaboration with Alice!

Into the Forest Wild - Spirit Doll for the Magdalenes

Wild Girl Shadow spirit doll by Sacred Familiar

Sometimes people ask me what to do with their spirit dolls once they receive them and that's a hard question to answer because the relationship you have with your own doll is so personal and really the way of working with your doll is limited only by your imagination. So today I thought I would share a story of a particular doll that I called Wild Girl and how she helped me to let go of fear.

Over my time of making dolls I have made a few for my own personal use. It only happens rarely and I'm often surprised when they make themselves known. I created Wild Girl at a dollmaking workshop that I held at Winter Solstice last year in the forest. When I teach I begin a doll to show the early steps to creating her head and her body, really very basic. I then leave everyone to weave their dolls in their own way. Wild Girl was this 'example' doll. When I got home I was unhappy with Wild Girl because she just didn't seem to be looking 'right'. Right? She didn't look the way I wanted her to look and strangely she rarely wanted to be seen. I kept her in a basket with my dolls that I was making for others and forgot about her.

One of my oldest childhood friends, Chris, came to visit and he looked at my dolls and noticed Wild Girl and asked who's this? He was fascinated. I told him that I didn't know what to do with her. She just didn't seem to work somehow. As I held her in my hands and turned her around Chris said stop! She had her back to us and he said that's how she wants to be seen from behind. And he was right. She was much happier not showing her face, she was wild and didn't like to be looked at. That helped me to connect and feel more understanding of her spirit and I kept her with my personal dolls and didn't think too much about it.

Wildgirl Shadow healer medicine doll by Sacred Familiar

medicine doll by sacred familiar

A couple of months later I was preparing to hold a ceremony at the site of the Magdalene Laundries at the Abbotsford Convent here in Melbourne and I was feeling a lot of deep emotions not only about the spirits of the women and children who had been held there but also about my own ability to be able to help them with our ceremony. The Magdalene Laundries were terrible places set up to house and incarcerate young women and girls who were deemed to be too wild, who were orphans, or sometimes simply unwanted. They were termed 'fallen girls' and I had been feeling the stories and spirits of these women for years. I knew that if I had lived in those times, I could have easily ended up in one of these places. In fact, many of us would have been doomed to the same plight simply by having a strong spirit, different spiritual views or simply for being regarded as a 'temptation'. Hard to believe, isn't it? And so last year I realised that I couldn't ignore these voices any longer and in a small way, I wished to gather with lots of other sisters to somehow let the women know that they had never done anything wrong, that they were loved and that there was a home for them in the spirit world.

I booked The Linen Room in the Convent for the first day of Spring for this ceremony and as the day approached I felt more and more fear - was I actually allowed to do this? Could I hold this kind of energy and process of grieving that would come? It shows just how deep the control of authority has been experienced in this lifetime and the past doesn't it, that deep unconscious fear of being stopped or even arrested for speaking out and organising our own way of healing history? Six weeks before the ceremony I decided that I didn't want to be controlled by my fear and that to hold this space for the other women I needed to be as strong as I could. I thought about how I had felt afraid of the forest when I'd moved here three months before. When I arrived in the forest I would look at the enormous Mountain Ash trees whose branches alone could crush a house and at night I would listen to the noises of the forest at my bedroom window and I felt embarrassed but I was afraid - could the forest kill me? I'm glad to say that I soon realised that this was a programmed fear after living in the city for too long and not my own. And within months of moving to the forest I came to realise that Mother Nature is all I needed! I now know the Mountain Ash trees to be forest guardians and protectors. Learning this helped me to create a medicine doll ritual to deal with my fear of authority.

I chose Wild Girl to be this doll to help me face my fears of the unknown and to speak out for women who had not been allowed to speak in their own lifetimes. When the women and children entered the Magdalene Laundries that were even stripped of their own names. I took Wild Girl to a part of the forest that was most sacred and magical to me. It is by Sassafrass Creek and I call it the faerie dell. It is filled with a strange light that is often very hard to photograph. Here I took photos of Wild Girl and you can see that her face was very hard to capture. I took her to an old tree that had naturally fallen years ago and in its exposed roots, I buried the spirit doll deep inside. I prayed to the spirit of the tree and to the forest to take care of Wild Girl and me. I asked to be taught how to be more wild in my life and particularly to have strength and trust speaking out. I was asking the trees to heal me through the doll.

Shadow medicine doll by Sacred Familiar

I visited Wild Girl often over the next 6 weeks and every time I saw her she would look more and more feral! She began to gather sticks and mud and leaves and each time I took her out of the tree she looked happier and more and more beautiful. On the morning of the ceremony I went into the forest with a dear sister, Talulah, a Shamanic Midwife of Making Sacred, Talulah, who had travelled from Sydney to support me and our ceremony and I took WildGirl out of her tree home for the last time. At the base of the tree I found a Rosella feather, a bird I see as a messenger for friendship, and when I looked at the doll she now had 2 black eyes made from mud. She looked straight at me -  she was happy to not only see but to be seen!

Wild Girl joined us in our ceremony at site of the Magdalene Laundries, she carried with her the ancestral memory of the forest and the wild and natural land that still lay beneath the buildings and had been there forever. And that is what our ceremony for the Magdalenes became - a remembering or re-embering as my friend Kaggi Valentine of 13 Moons Blood Mysteries, calls it. Kaggi sang her own chant for the Magdelenes in the actual laundry itself that day leading us to sing and dance for those that couldn't in the place that had been their prison. We remembered the Aboriginal girls who had also been in the laundries and the tribes that had known this sacred land beside the Yarra River for thousands of years before these modern laws and judgements. So many women gave the gift of their love and voices that day to sing the spirits of the Magdalenes home including the magical singer, Lisa Mitchell, who shared her own new songs written at the time of our gathering. I played these songs again yesterday and they are are like celestial devotionals, ancient songs to open the veil. We saw and felt some amazing things that day and I am grateful to everyone who helped weave that heart-opening ceremony especially the women who came who had family and friends in the laundries and orphanage. And to my my best friend, Rebecca Walker, palliative care nurse and death worker who is always walking beside me in this work - I know how much her spirit anchored the whole process.

Friends. That's what helped the ceremony to be as powerful as it was. Friendship helped me to speak when I was afraid. I saw that we truly can do anything, face any fear when we do it together. And that is the gift of the spirit doll. She is a Friend. She will be beside you. Wild Girl is still by my side, were are great friends now. I see her in all her strange and wild beauty and she sees me.

Cosmic Children and GrandMother Dolls

I had the best time creating this medicine doll for Tilda who is 11 and a budding young artist. She is the OrchidDreamer friendship doll and filled with orchids grown in Tony's mother's garden and lots of forest flowers that I picked close to our home. While I was making her one of favourite people came to visit and I'm sure all of that laughter and storytelling has been woven into her dress.

Tilda's request for a friendship doll came in the same week that I received 3 more invitations to create dolls for children. This is the CrystalReader doll for Emma who is 12 receiving a sun blessing on her crystal ball.

I have been inspired so much by the spirit of the child whilst making these dolls that I began to make some big changes in my life, creating space for my own cosmic child to play. I created a tarot spread to understand what the cosmic child needs and I will share this spread with our subscribers very soon on the 1st September - the first day of Spring here in Australia.

I believe that whenever we give we receive and this week I had a sudden compulsion to go to our local opshop. And look who I found - my own doll! Isn't she beautiful. I don't know anything about her except that she looks completely handmade right down to her woolly jumper. She reminds me of my ancestors from Scotland and Ireland. Perhaps she is Fox's grandmother and has travelled from the Shetland Islands to take care of us all. Thanks Tilda! I definitely believe you and the OrchidDreamer had a hand in this doll exchange x

This Week's Forest Inspiration

A couple of days ago I chose these crystal treasures for new spirit dolls. I am in awe of the dolls and their ways of teaching - I am learning more about the mineral world with each doll. This week we have been foraging and gathering plant medicine for dolls in Sherbrooke Forest, Mt Donna Buang and in the Redwood Forest in East Warburton. Inspiration everywhere x

Inspired by the Spirit of the Child

This beautiful wax doll was created by 11 year old Tilda after being inspired by our medicine dolls. Tilda and her mum sent me an email this week titled : inspired by you. The thought that I had made something that could inspire a child to create gave me the best and happiest feeling in my heart all weekend. Thank you Tilda! I am being inspired by YOU!

The spirit of the inner child has been something that has been on my mind for the last month especially after the full moon when I began feeling such a strong sense of fear and exhaustion that it lead me to create a Tarot spread called 'shining a light on the scary'. Through having a deep and honest look at the beliefs that were creating my fears and the practices I was engaged in that were making me so tired, I came to see that the wisest part of myself was being ignored - my inner child. When I asked her what she wanted it was a simple answer: to create and create and create! And so I have decided to have a long break from teaching and working with groups to focus only on dollmaking and working in one-on-one healing sessions. This decision feels incredibly freeing and full of creative possibilities.

When I began to make dolls for what I thought was the first time last year (67 weeks ago exactly) I had no idea of the door I would be opening to my own ancestral medicine. I didn't know that dollmaking would be become such an important practice for me, yes, almost an obsession. But a happy obsession! Since I began last year I have a doll almost every single day and yet I am still just as excited to be creating dolls for others. It is a way for my inner child to speak to the inner children of others and a bridge to share friendship, comfort and the healing herbs, plants & stones of the earth. The full moon this month was in Aquarius, my own sun sign and on that night I made a dedication to my inner child to let her play. I dedicated myself to the craft of dollmaking and to creating the very best vessels of healing and love that I could. This commitment to do only what I love feels like a whole new chapter of my life.

Tilda's letter came to me not long after I had made this dedication to my own inner child. It was just the confirmation I needed. Tilda told me that she has been saving up to buy her own medicine doll and this week I get the pleasure and honour to dream and weave her in. When I asked Tilda what intention she would like her doll to hold she told me,

'The real main reason I want one of your dolls is because I want her to be my friend.'

Thank you Tilda for speaking so beautifully and truthfully for every child inside of us all. Thank you for inviting me to play and create this special new friend just for you.

Over the last year I've had a few requests for medicine dolls for children, boys and girls, and they have a special sparkle about them. A twinkle. Here are some of the dolls that are now best friends to those wise little beings.